Can Purell be used as lube?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
