Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
