Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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