Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
