dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize