I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
