im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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