OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize