Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
