i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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