Screwed.edu
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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