Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
