so that wasnt chicken after all
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize