Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
