Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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