and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize