whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize