Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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