Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Swine flu is the new snow day.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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