you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
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