I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
