Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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