Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
