i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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