So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
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