she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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