dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
