Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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