I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize