So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
