good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
