And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
