Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize