You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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