i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
