I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize