Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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