my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Operation Purity has been aborted
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
