Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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