at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize