I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
