They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
