We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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