party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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