I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
