Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Randomize