the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
