me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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