I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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