sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I'm really into asian looking animals
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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