That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
