Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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