I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Me too!
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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