she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
