birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
